i'd like to return to a simpler time in my life... certain portions of my childhood.
lots of people have been asking me lately what my plans for the future are... i wish i knew the answer to that question.
i had to explain my dilemma to a college aged friend/pseudo-sibling the other day... i'm feeling ready to move on from my job, but just jumping into grad school like i'd like to isn't as simple at this current stage in my life as it might have been just 1 or 2 years out of college.
things are more complicated now...
i've got bills...car, insurance, cell phone, and undergrad student loan payments; i'd need insurance and a steady source of income...
with all of these things in the picture, i need not only to be accepted into a grad program, i need a viable job in the near vicinity of the school, and housing... an apartment or equivalent. given that i currently live where i work and don't pay rent, the concept of paying rent etc. is another daunting idea on top of the aforementioned things.
heart palpitations.
not to mention the time and energy it will take to coordinate all of these things... my life is hectic as it is right now with my job and a decent personal life. just thinking about the time and energy it will take to fill out and submit app's and my portfolio, search for jobs, revise and send out resume's, search for an apartment... it sends me into a mental tailspin. not that i want to make excuses, i just wish it was easier to transition.
not to mention the idea of possibly moving away from my friends and even further away from my family.
more heart palpitations.
sometimes i just want to be a little kid again.
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