seeking: mutual constancy, dependability, accountability, support... someone to give me a push when i'm stalled, help me up when i'm down... a go-to person. someone solid, grounded, and balanced; a person i can always count on. i'm lacking that in my life. i seem to be that person for many others, and i willingly and proudly fill that role; but i find--though i love my friends dearly--that none of them fills this role in my life. i find myself lonely and longing for that unwavering source of strength, stability, and solid wise advice. not that we all don't struggle at one time or another... i realize and willingly admit this fact. this fact is also the reason why i feel, now more than ever, that i need such a person. when i struggle, i don't feel like i have someone as described above to go to. i know that my friends try, that they always support me to the best of their ability, and i am grateful for such support, but sometimes i need more. someone who knows my shit and can call me on it; who doesn't let me hide, knows when i'm in need... not sure i'll ever find that, but that doesn't stop me from longing for it.