making sense of it all

i've been in a cleaning and reorganizing mood lately. part of this urge, i believe, is due to my never ending need for visual stimulation and change. part of it is a creative challenge; i have a lot of "stuff"... art stuff, craft stuff, home stuff... rearranging and reorganizing becomes a mind puzzle whose process is extremely satisfying to me. part of it is emotional purging as well. i gather things with an idea in mind, i hold onto the idea but put off its follow through...the stuff sits. eventually, i either get around to following through with the idea, or the "stuff" gets to be part of a once in a while purge.

cleaning and organizing my physical space is the physical process that overlays what is actually going on inside my heart and head; working through old dusty emotions, reorganizing and reprioritizing ideas, goals, dreams, wishes... and sometimes, letting go; casting off that which i no longer have need of and making room for the new, for growth, opportunity, the future...my future.

fifty shades of blue

i've been at odds with the mood monster as of late. my struggle is a combo deal of sorts; a great and terrible conglomeration of changing cold weather, the hormonal fluctuations that are womanhood, and dealing with the end of a relationship that hit me a bit harder than i expected...i think there's a bit of an immune system struggle going on in my chest as well, so that certainly doesn't help me to feel particularly well or upbeat! not that i want to throw a pity party for myself, i'm just processing...

i need to figure out some good ways to get the mood monster out of my system. i was doing well in the creativity department until last week or so. i had an extremely productive post break-up week, then, after about a week of up and down, things just went down hill creatively and i lost my gumption. i think that's where my immune system came into play as well. i feel like i'm just on the brink of getting sick, but my body continues to fight it....maybe that's why i want to sleep so much lately. i'm trying to indulge my body so as to allow it the energy to fight off whatever respiratory devil it's trying to fight off, but sometimes my creative brain wakes up late in the evening and the two have to duke it out to see who gets priority.